RULES TO THE GRILLED CHEESE INVITATIONAL
(revised 3.25.08)

 

PREFACE

The following explains the rules and regulations for the Grilled Cheese Invitational (GCI) Competition. The GCI retains the right to amend, modify, or terminate the rules at any time and at our sole discretion. Any questions regarding the rules can be sent to rules@grilledcheeseinvitational.com. A copy of the rules will be included with you competition kit, should you have any questions on the day of the event.

 

1) NO FLAME-THROWERS!

Yes, this means you. No ice-melters, Molotov cocktails, you name it. If you bring something that even vaguely resembles a flame-thrower you WILL BE ASKED TO LEAVE.

2) DEFINITIONS

Bread: Any leavened or unleavened, flour-based and baked thing that looks like bread, you idiot.

Butter: For the purposes of simplicity, all sammich-grilling lubricants will be hereafter referred to as "Butter." You can use oils or margarines if you prefer, but make sure it fits within the sammich category you've chosen. FLAVORED BUTTERS AND OILS (MAYONNAISE, INFUSED WITH GARLIC, ETC.) ARE NOT PERMITTED IN THE MISSIONARY POSITION CATEGORY.

Cheese: Made from milk, be it mother's, goat, cow, cat, rabbit, soy, or almonds (although why would you make a grilled cheese with almond cheese? Bleahhh!).

3) CATEGORIES OF COMPETITION

There will be four categories of sammiches in this competition. Each is outlined as follows:

The Missionary Position: Standard white bread (no sourdough), orange cheese (Cheddar or American), and standard butter (or margarine).

Spoons: Any kind of bread, any kind of cheese (or cheeses), and any kind of butter.

The Kama Sutra: Any kind of bread, any kind of butter, and any kind of cheese PLUS additional ingredients(the interior ingredients must be at least 60% cheese).

The Honey Pot: Any kind of bread, any kind of butter, and any kind of cheese (the interior ingredients of the sammich must be at least 60% cheese), and with an overall flavor that is sweet and would best be served as dessert.

3a) The Missionary Position
The Missionary Position Sammich is the standard grilled cheese we have all come to know and love through these many moons. In the past, there has been a slight controversy as well as plenty of confusion over this category. We of the GCI management have now outlined the rules specifically so that this grilled cheese sandwich will only contain the following: standard white bread, orange cheese (Cheddar or American), and plain butter (or margarine).

Standard bread means bread with no extra ingredients or flavorings. In other words, if you've got an Olive Loaf you want to make a sammich out of, then enter it in the Spoons category. Got some Rosemary Sourdough? Enter the Spoons. Cinnamon Raisin? Too bad, Charlie, enter it in Honey Pot.

Standard butter means just butter or margarine. No flavored oils or butters in this category. Truffle oil is flavored oil. Garlic Infused oil or butter is Kama Sutra. You get the picture.

Orange cheese means only American (e.g., Kraft Singles) or Cheddar (mild through sharp, NO FLAVORING -- yes, "smoked" is a flavor). No pepper-jack in this category, jackass. No mean-o Jalapeño either. You get to use more than one cheese if you like, as long as each cheese is either American or Cheddar.

The Missionary Position grilled cheese sammich is all about the art of grilling simple bread, butter, and cheese together, NOT about what meats or spices you can put in a sandwich. There is an art to the simplicity of the grilled cheese sammich and we celebrate that perfect icon of Grilled Cheesiness.

This is, by far, the most difficult category to win. You must have complete mastery over your grille, your cheese and your sammich in order to become a Missionary champion.

3b) Spoons (NEW FOR 2008)

Spoons is a new category we are trying out for the 2008 Nationals and allows for a broader interpretation of the classic grilled cheese, while opening its arms and taste buds to a wider array of cheeses and breads. In this category, you can use:

Any kind of bread (sourdough? yes! rye? yes! pumpernickel? hell yes!),
Any kind of butter (or other lubricant... mayonnaise is legal),
Any kind of cheese (or combination of cheeses).

It is absolutely FORBIDDEN to include extra ingredients in your Spoons entry. There can be extra ingredients in the bread, butter or cheese, but these ingredients must be there as a process of manufacturing. For example, if a cheese has been produced with bits of Jalapeno in it, that would be acceptable. If a loaf of bread has Rosemary baked into it, that would be acceptable. Sprinkling Rosemary on to a sandwich or including a spread of some kind would not be permitted. There will be people on site to help with this new rule interpretation and we will communicate with all competitors ahead of time to make sure that there is no confusion as to which category your sandwich would compete in. If you want to get all fancypants, get your sandwich over to the Kama Sutra, you kinky freak.

3c) The Kama Sutra

The Kama Sutra sammich is any grilled cheese that is made with exotic bread or contains any other ingredients than the above mentioned.

The only rules to the Kama Sutra sammich are as follows: The sammich MUST be grilled and the internal ingredients must be at least 60% CHEESE. Other than that, this is a freestyle category, so go for it. This is where you can create any savory flavor concept your twisted mind will allow, so long as the internal ingredients are at least 60% cheese.

The Kama Sutra category is not only the most liberal, but also the most popular. So you must keep in mind that the competition is fierce and professional. You could be up against as many as 50 professional chefs, so you better get it right!

3d) The Honey Pot

The Honey Pot represents a new frontier in Grilled Cheeses: Dessert! The rules for the Honey Pot are simple. The sammich is a freestyle sammich; therefore, many of the same rules that apply to the Kama Sutra apply here. Exotic ingredients, the sammich must contain at least 60% cheese and must be grilled. The additional rule is it must be dessert and be sweet in nature. Savory sandwiches will not be allowed in this category. Sugar and spice and everything nice, however, WILL BE ALLOWED!

Note: GCI management reserves the right to re-assign a sandwich to its rightful category or DISQUALIFY the entry completely if there is an obvious attempt at cheating.

 

4) EXHIBITION (PLEASE NOTE: THE EXHIBITION RULE WILL NOT APPLY TO REGIONAL GCIs)

Because of the new location for the Grilled Cheese Invitational, we will have a stage where people who want to connect with the audience can grill in front of an audience. There will be special awards handed out for these contestants in the exhibition.

PLEASE NOTE: All contestants will still have to cook their 20 vote sammiches in the cooking area. After they have completed they will then be free to perform to their hearts content in the EXHIBITION AREA. The exhibition area will also be open for those who do not want to enter the competition but would like to show off their grilled cheese cookery.

5) COOKING

Be prepared to cook at least five (5) regular sized sammiches for judging purposes. You can then cut those five (5) sammiches will then be split into quarters, allowing each sammich twenty (20) possible votes from the salivating audience. Obviously, consistency will be a key element to a sammiches' performance. The GCI will provide at least 50 "Olympic-Rated" cooking stoves for the event. Each competitor will also receive a competition kit that will contain the following:

Frypan
Spatula
Grilling Hats
Grilling Apron
Cutting Board
Hand sanitizer
Health info sheet
Sandwich plates w/votes
Paper towels

However, if you've got a frypan at home that makes "f#*king awesome" grilled cheeses, we encourage you to bring it and use it. You will be responsible for your own equipment. If you don't want somebody screwing up your pan, keep an eye on it, dumb ass! We will not be providing knives, so be prepared to bring your own. All competitors must wear the grilling hats and aprons, as per board of health regulations. The only exception to this rule is if you are grilling in costume; in which case, make sure your costume provides a hat and an apron.

All other cooking apparatuses, such as the George Foreman Grill, deep fryers, or toaster ovens are not allowed.

Please bring any other cooking equipment you will need for competition, including knives. There will be a sanitizing station available for competitors to sanitize their cooking equipment, before, during and after they compete.

When it comes time to compete, your sammich number will be called and you will then begin to grill. Don't go and steal someone's spot and crowd them or anything like that. This time, it will be orderly so that every one gets a chance to grill. It'll be fine. You'll see.

6) SAMMICH SUPPLIES

Please be sure to bring any and all supplies necessary to complete your sammich. That means bread, butter, and cheese at the very minimum. Do not take anyone else's supplies to complete your sammich. You will be shunned for stealing, disqualified from competition, plus, it just ain't nice.

PLEASE NOTE: Any perishable items MUST be kept in a cooler with ice and be stored at safe temperatures and all foodstuffs must be stored off of the ground.

7) RUNNERS

All competitors MUST provide an assistant who will also act as a runner to get those damn sammiches to the judges. No Runner, no judging. No judging, no glory!

8) NUMBER OF COMPETITORS

There will be a maximum of 100 competitors for this event. Once we have reached capacity for competitors, we will start a waiting list for people to compete. There will be no guarantee of competition implied with the waiting list.

9) JUDGING

Judging for the event will be open to all who want to eat and judge the sammiches. You will not be required to make a sammich if all you want to do is eat. If you want to just eat sammiches you can do just that. Yes, the event is that AWESOME! If you want to just cook you can do that. Each sammich gets 20 votes. Any sammich that does not get at least 16 of it’s ballots turned in will be disqualified from competition, so it is imperative for judges to turn in their ballots after they have sampled a sammich. Each sandwich will be able to score a total of 50 points per vote. The points are be awarded as follows:

Presentation: How does the sammich look? (Scale of 1 - 10, 10 being highest)

Taste: How does it taste? (Scale of 1 - 20, 20 being highest)

Wessonality: Is this sandwich special? Deliver Style points here (Scale of 1- 5, 5 being highest)

SPAZ: The Weird Factor (Scale of 1 - 15, 15 being biggest Spaz)

What is a Spaz? You tell us! Essentially, the Spaz sandwich is the sandwich with the biggest Weird Factor. It could be a sandwich so lacking in style it's a style in itself. Or it could be a sandwich high on concept, but lower than dirt on taste. Or maybe a sandwich clearly designed simply to annoy. It's hard to define that elusive "Spaz" quality, but you'll know it when you see it. Which one of the sammiches totally deserves that title? When you look at a sammich, does it scream SPAZ!? Award it here!

10) AWARDS

Once the scores have been received and tallied, the top three scores of each sammich category will be declared winners. There will be one winner for the Spaz Award, plus a runner up. Winners will receive one trophy per placement for each category. See the "Entries" section for information on teams.

11) Entries

For the purposes of fairness, each person will only be allowed to enter ONE (1) sammich per category. That means each contestant can enter a total of FOUR (4) grilled cheese sandwiches for the GCI: ONE (1) in Missionary, ONE (1) in Spoons, ONE (1) in Kama Sutra, and ONE (1) in Honey Pot.

Note: Teams are permitted, however you will have to fight amongst yourselves as to who gets the trophy if you win.

12) PRE-EVENT REGISTRATION

Due to the delays caused by lazy bastards who waited until the last minute to register their sandwiches, there will be NO ON-SITE REGISTRATION ALLOWED. This is to help make the competition run more smoothly. It'll also allow us to prepare for how many people will be competing.

13) THESE ARE THE RULES. IF YOU DON'T LIKE 'EM, TOUGH!

 

 

 

 

HINTS & SECRETS

There are many things that go into a perfect Grilled Cheese, some of them are secret and stay that way. Here are some great things you can do to win a trophy. They may work, they may not. Just read 'em and get wise.

 

SUGGESTIONS THAT MAY NOT HELP YOU WIN A TROPHY

The best way you can make the best Grilled Cheese is to cook them all the time and to eat them all the time. Take notes. Photographs. See what brand of butter works the best. Note how old the bread was. Graph your information. Be scientific. Wear protective goggles. All that.

 

Physical Preparation

The week before competition, try to do some physical exercises. Step out of your apartment or house and begin running. Be sure to breathe. Do not stop running until the bleeding from your ears stops. Once the bleeding stops hail a cab and take it to the nearest FOSTER FREEZE (a Dairy Queen would also work) and get the largest amount of ice cream you can possibly hold with two hands. Eat it all. Once completed, run back to your home.

As it gets closer to game day, enlist a partner to throw medicine balls of various weights at you while you practice the grilling of cheese. This may seem dangerous but it will only help you in the long run.

Also, do not trust the mailman.

Mental Preparation

On game day, try to find a nice quite place for some meditation, an abandoned mine, for example. Sit in complete stillness and try to focus on the grille, the cheese, and the butter. Let all aspirations and hopes and desires for victory escape you. Think back, long and hard, to the point in your childhood where your dad dressed up as a clown and beat you with a grilled cheese sammich to make you cry. Wonder about who would play you in the ABC Family Movie of the Week about your winning of the Grilled Cheese Invitational. Imagine the process of milk turning into cheese and then melting back into a liquid. When you have completed this exercise, stand up and immediately smoke at least four or five cigars. You are now ready to be a champion!

SUGGESTIONS THAT MIGHT ACTUALLY HELP YOUY WIN A TROPHY

But seriously:

1) Bring Your Own Pan - Even though we will be providing Olympic Cooking Surfaces™, you've got a better chance at cooking a better sammich if you're working with a frying pan you know. So bring your best fry pan and use it. Just make sure it’s clean and sanitized. You don't have to let anyone else use it, just you. This way, you're comfortable with the pan and the cheese can grill just like you like it.

2) Practice - We can't stress this enough. Before you even show up at the competition, you should have cooked one or two at your house and made sure that the ingredients go together well and everything works. Throw some variables in there. Change up the amount of butter. See what’s better and what’s not.

3) Prep - Try to prepare your materials before hand. Slice your cheese, choose your bread, fry your bacon, etc. There is always a bottleneck during the competition, with people waiting to slice cheese and what not, and that's dumb. We're not here to see ham sizzle; we're here to watch cheese grill!

4) Drink plenty - This is a Grilled Cheese Invitational, after all.

5) Don't sweat it! - If you don't win, don't sweat it, it's only a Grilled Cheese Invitational.

6) Slow Down! - Many people scorch their sammiches. Slow down! Just because the grill goes up to 11 doesn't mean it HAS to. Adjust the heat on the grill and take your time. Focus.

7) Grease'll Getcha - Be careful when adding meats to your sammich. As we all know meats is greasy bitches! Bacon is very, very greasy. If you are using meats, choose wisely and don't bog the sammich down in meat grease. You think you'll win with that? Yeah right! Bacon is fine to use, just drain it. For the love of all that’s good and holy, don’t you realize that bread is like a sponge? Sheesh!

8) Burns - This is an event involving a grill. Grills get hot. So does whatever you put on it, including the frying pan. If you're the type who is clumsy, bring yer own damn mitts and protect your damn hands and arms! It's not my fault you burned your own dumb ass. Be safe. Also, don’t burn other people.

9) Dress for success - Try to wear something that says, "I'm a f#@%ing Grilled Cheese Champion!" Just be sure to make it flame proof. See number 8.

10) Have sex with somebody before the competition - Let your hair down and relax, then come and grill cheese. You'd be surprised how much of a difference it really makes in the grill.

 

©2008 Amalgamated Figs, Ltd.